2030 Olympics: Broadside vs. Kup (Heavyweight Gladiatorial Combat, Round Two)
2k5 - Thursday, August 20, 2009, 11:02 PM ----------------------------------------- GAME: Broadside rolls a (100)-sided die: ROLL: Broadside rolled a 98 ROLL: Kup rolled a 87 Broadside is waiting on a deserted atoll, or at least, it was deserted until the sporting press got here to cover the giant robot fight. He holds his axe comfortably and lightly in his hand, flipping it into the air from time to time, as he stands on the beach. Kup is just now approaching the atoll on a dingy wooden boat run by aliens. Its gas powered propeller sputters as it sluggishly propels the ship forward. Eventually, Kup sighs, tired of waiting, and when the boat's about 50 yards away from the shore, he simply leaps the rest of the way, plopping down into the soft sand of the shore. "Let's do this," Kup grunts, cracking his knuckles. "Yeah, no use jawin' about it," agrees Broadside, a mech of few words. He strides forward heavily and swings a massive foot towards Kup, attempting to kick him back into the water where Broadside has an advantage. Combat: Broadside misses Kup with his Kick attack! Resetting Broadside. Combat: Broadside misses Kup with his Kick attack! Kup smirks a little as he reaches out to catch the foot. "Smart move," Kup says. "Knockin' me into the water coulda screwed me up. But you gotta hit me first!" Then, Kup swings Broadside around and tries to toss him right into the ocean! "Here, why don't you take a swim instead!" Combat: Kup misses Broadside with his Chuck (Punch) attack! Broadside lands on his feet and just stands up. At seventy-something feet in height, Broadside can just wade in the ocean, this close to shore. "I spend plenty of time swimming as it is," he remarks, stepping out onto the beach and reaching for Kup as he does so, to try to throw him further up the shore into the rocky upland. Combat: Broadside sets his defense level to Aggressive. Combat: Broadside strikes Kup with his Hurl attack! -2 Combat: You took 13 damage. Kup is flung right into a clump of jagged rocks! "GAH, dammit, my back!" Kup grits out as the sharp stones both pierce and batter his armor. He pulls himself up, some of the smaller rocks still sticking out of his armor. "Nasty hit, Broadside. Gotta compliment you on that," Kup says, then reaches down to pick up a rather large boulder. "Lemme give you an idea of how it felt!" And he tosses the boulder with all his might! Combat: Kup strikes Broadside with his Boulder attack! -2 "Umph!" grunts Broadside as he catches the boulder in his gut, stumbling a bit. "Now it's..." he adds, winding up his arm like a pitcher, the boulder held in one fist, "...my turn." He steps, turns and releases! It's a fast ball! Combat: Broadside sets his defense level to Fearless. Combat: Broadside strikes Kup with his Hey Batta Batta SWING attack! Combat: You took 16 damage. Kup is smashed back down into the rocks as the boulder explodes against his chest! "Aaaargh! Damn, I better pick up the pace on this guy," Kup mumbles to himself, "Or I ain't gonna last!" He frowns, looking about for a good improvised weapon to use on the giant Autobot. His optics alight with glee when he sees a massive log washed up near the shore. "That musta come from a ship. Think I'll use that. I hope it ain't too rotted!" And with that, Kup sprints back across the rocks and through the shore towards the log, hefts it up across his shoulders, as one might use carry a pole with two heavy objects at either end, and charges at Broadside's legs, hoping to topple him! "RAAAGH!" Combat: Kup sets his defense level to Aggressive. Combat: Kup misses Broadside with his Whuppin' attack! Broadside brings up his other hand, the one with the axe in it, and clasps the familiar haft in both hands. As Kup rushes him with the fallen tree, he thumbs the power stud and drops to one knee, dropping the axe like an guillotine's blade. The log is split in two by the thrumming blade, splinters flying out like shrapnel from the ultrasonic edge. But what lies behind that log is the more urgent target- Kup himself! Combat: Broadside misses Kup with his Lowering the Boom attack! Kup's optics go wide as the axe comes down and he can feel the log coming apart even as he's still holding it! "Ah, frag!--" Kup knows when to give up, though, and so releases the log and dives forward into the water before the axe cleaves him in twain as well! Kup stays under the water for a few moments, his presence noted only by some bubbles in the mercury ocean. Eventually he resurfaces, springing right out of the surface of the water as he tries to climb onto Broadside's back and get him in a sleeper lock! "Gotta say, bein' big must be great," Kup growls as he tries to put on the squeeze. "But it makes it hard grabbin' little guys like me, huh?" Combat: Kup misses Broadside with his Robots Don't Breathe But This Still Might Hurt attack! -1 "It's got its downsides," agrees Broadside, grasping awkwardly at Kup like someone trying to scratch an itch in the middle of their back. Combat: Broadside sets his defense level to Neutral. Combat: Broadside strikes Kup with his Fling (Punch) attack! Combat: You took 6 damage. Kup lets out a "Gah!" as he is suddenly plucked off the back of Broadside's back, and squirms in his crushing grip. But the cantankerous old man snaps out a kick to Broadside's mug, hoping to either force him to drop him or just dent his chin real good. "The fall's gonna be one of those downsides, trust me!" Combat: Kup misses Broadside with his Kick attack! Broadside slings Kup to the ground, avoiding the flailing feet with some quick maneuvers of his head, and raises a foot to try to stomp Kup into the sand. "Best hope I don't fall on you, then," replies Broadside with typical good-natured cheer. Combat: Broadside misses Kup with his Stomp (Kick) attack! Kup lands with a SPUT! "Yeah, I wouldn't like that," he growls, but as Broadside's foot descends, Kup rolls over and quickly transforms into his truck mode! If Kup timed it correctly, Broadside's foot will just be coming down onto his cargo bed, and right as Kup pulls away, hoping to trip up Broadside in the same way that Dads all over the world have been when they step on stray roller skates! Kup falls forward, transforming into an old Cybertronian truck! Combat: Cybertruck misses Broadside with his I Told You Not To Leave These Around attack! -4 CHAT: You may wish to set the CHAN_USEFIRSTMATCH flag on yourself. Broadside slips on Kup, and although his balance is good, and he catches himself quickly without coming to harm, he is staggered for a moment and has to climb heavily back up to his feet. "Ahh, clever." Combat: Broadside takes extra time to steady himself. Pass Cybertruck grumbles as he watches Broadside retain his footing in his rear view sensors. "Ennnh. Yeah, I thought it was, too. But wait'll you see this!" Kup races away from Broadside, powerslides around, then rockets forward right at a pair of palm trees that are conveniently just the right distance from each other for Kup to put both his tires on them. Then, he uses the springy trees as a sort of ramp to fling himself right at Broadside's mug! Kup's had a lot of practice with ramp attacks after fighting Sky Lynx the other day, of course. Combat: Kup sets his defense level to Fearless. Combat: Cybertruck misses Broadside with his Beat This Move Tony Hawk attack! CHAT: You may wish to set the CHAN_USEFIRSTMATCH flag on yourself. Broadside brings up a giant hand and tries to just catch Kup by the grill and smash his undercarriage into his rising knee! "Well, I'm impressed." Combat: Broadside sets his defense level to Fearless. Combat: Broadside strikes Cybertruck with his Knee Slapper! attack! Combat: You took 12 damage. Combat: Broadside's attack has damaged your Accuracy! "GARRRK!!" escapes Kup's vocalizer as his midsection is smashed inward by the knee! "Yeah, I'm glad, because that was kinda disappointin' by my standards!" Kup says, then he transforms even while still in Broadside's grasp. He reaches for the big triple-changer's thumb and tries to snap it right off of his hand! "If I can't ram you, well, I'll just take you apart piece by piece, then!" The old, futuristic-looking truck transforms into the grizzled veteran Kup! Combat: Targetting Error: No target named 'broadside/3' Combat: Kup strikes Broadside with his I Didn't Need That Thumb Anyway attack! -2 CHAT: You may wish to set the CHAN_USEFIRSTMATCH flag on yourself. Broadside still has another thumb attached, but the real danger at this point is his massive feet, as Broadside has dropped Kup again and is trying to kick him down the beach so he can find his thumb. "Remind me never to play the 'knife game' with you." Combat: Broadside misses Kup with his Kick attack! -1 Kup lands on the shore on his knees, looking up just in time to see Broadside's leg swinging up at him. Kup puts his hands out in front of himself, not so much to stop the kick, but to brace himself against it, grab onto the shin, and rides the kick up into the air before he lets go, snapping a boot out at Broadside's face as he swings past! "Well, I used to be pretty good at it, but then I got locked in the brig after that incident on the shuttle Saris. I didn't mean to stab the guy, I just slipped!" Combat: Kup misses Broadside with his Kick attack! CHAT: You may wish to set the CHAN_USEFIRSTMATCH flag on yourself. "He knew the dangers!" agrees Broadside, driving his head forward to get inside Kup's reach and try to headbutt him (forehead to chest) back down. Combat: Broadside strikes Kup with his Head 2 Head (Kick) attack! Combat: You took 12 damage. Combat: Broadside's attack has damaged your Accuracy! Kup's chest is battered severely from that hit, armor spalling off! Reeling from the blow, Kup flops down onto the sand, but he rises up unsteadily. "Uhhh... how do you.. hit so damn hard?" he drawls out, wobbling on his feet. He cycles air for a moment, then charges back at Broadside, huffing and puffing. He only figures out what kind of attack he'll make at the last second--he just tries to grab a leg and sling it and the guy attached to it across his shoulder! Combat: Kup sets his defense level to Aggressive. Combat: Kup strikes Broadside with his Tosser attack! -1 Broadside hits the ground with a deafening BOOM as Kup successfully uses his whole body as a ram to "sweep the leg!" He rolls over and gets back up slowly- Broadside's great weight makes him a bit slow to regain his footing. "It's all in the leverage," he replies. "Seems you knew that though." Combat: Broadside sets his defense level to Neutral. Combat: Broadside takes extra time to steady himself. Pass Kup grins at Broadside as he staggers about the beach. "Yeeeppp. The leverage. I can't even begin to tell ya how many big, huge Decepticons I've brought with just a little judo. 'Course, most of THEM friggin' stayed down." He half-lunges, half-stumbles towards Broadside, trying to punch him in the foot before he gets back up. Combat: Kup misses Broadside with his Punch attack! "None of them were Wreckers," points out Broadside, swinging that same foot towards Kup's fist. Combat: Broadside sets his defense level to Aggressive. Combat: Broadside misses Kup with his Immovable Object vs. Unstoppable Force (Kick) attack! Kup rolls/stumbles out of the path of the kick. "Granted," Kup says, "But of course I'd expect a Wrecker to outlast most Decepticons!" Noticing, down by his leg, one half of the log he was trying to batter Broadside with earlier, Kup scoops it up and chucks it at Broadside's head! "Still, yer gonna go down, all the same! Just a matter 'a time!" Combat: Kup sets his defense level to Neutral. Combat: Kup strikes Broadside with his Log attack! -2 Wha-CLANG! A log to the dome will slow anyone down, and Broadside looks a little dizzy as he stomps the ground hard enough to send a shockwave rippling through the sand and perhaps tip Kup over. Combat: Broadside strikes Kup with his Ground Surge (Punch) attack! Combat: You took 8 damage. Combat: Broadside's attack has damaged your Firepower! Kup falls over as the shockwave rips through the ground, and by sheer coincidence, he hits his head on the *other* half of the log on the way down! "Urrgh! Okay, that's another advantage of being really big," he mutters. Gasping, he stands, wobbling, looking for another improvised weapon he can use. Then he notices what looks like a big volleyball carved into the shape of a face! "Huh, that's weird. Oh well!" And without further ado, Kup punts the volleyball at Broadside! Combat: Kup strikes Broadside with his WILSON!!! (Punch) attack! Bonk! Right in the eye! Well, right in the visor. "...What?" says Broadside, confused at the smiling ball face flying towards him. He staggers, but dangerously, towards Kup rather than away from him! Combat: Broadside strikes Kup with his Who Left That There? (Kick) attack! Combat: You took 9 damage. Combat: Broadside's attack has damaged your Strength! Kup is crushed into the beach by a foot! "Hfffarrrgh! Damn... maybe I should've... not... done that!" Using some of the last of his strength, Kup tries to rise back up, even with Broadside still on top of him! Not only that, but with a great heave, he tries to lift the entire triplechanger up and into the air! "Hrrrrgh!" In the back of his mind, Kup wonders why Broadside hasn't done the "land on you as a massive aircraft carrier" trick, yet. Maybe he's saving it? Combat: Kup sets his defense level to Aggressive. Combat: Kup misses Broadside with his Whuppin' attack! Broadside doesn't do that one anymore because for a boat, landing on the ground is almost as bad for the boat as it is for whoever it lands on! Also it sends all the furniture and equipment inside him sliding around uncomfortably. Pots and pans everywhere in the galley. "Whoah!" exclaims Broadside as he feels Kup trying to pick him up and flip him over. He puts his hand on the ground and brings up his knee to try to smash Kup before he can find purchase. Combat: Broadside strikes Kup with his To the Mat! (Punch) attack! Combat: You took 8 damage. Combat: Broadside's attack has damaged your Accuracy! Kup would probably find that line of reasoning pretty sound if he knew about it. Instead, all that's on his mind right now is the stars flickering across his vision after that knee connects with his chin. "Oof!" Kup grunts, stumbling through the sand. He frowns, realizing that he can't take much more punishment. One more solid hit could be all it takes. If he's going to win this, he's going to have hit Broadside with every last thing he's got! "Win or lose, it was a good fight, Broadside," Kup says, transforming into truck mode. He tears across the beach before coming back around, aiming himself at the hand Broadside is using to prop himself up! "Maybe we can get a drink after we get patched up!" Kup falls forward, transforming into an old Cybertronian truck! Combat: Error - You don't have enough energon (20) for this attack. Combat: Cybertruck strikes Broadside with his Last Chance attack! -1 Combat: You are running low on energon! Broadside falls into the sand, rolling onto his back as Kup knocks his hand out from under him! "Yeah, you can share war stories with Impactor," he groans, climbing back up to his knees. He reaches for his axe, which is sticking out of the sand nearby, hefts it and flings it after Kup! Combat: Broadside sets his defense level to Fearless. Combat: Broadside strikes Cybertruck with his Vibro-Ax attack! -1 Combat: You took 10 damage. Combat: Broadside's attack has damaged your Strength! SHUNK! The axe buries itself in Kup's passenger compartment, sticking out comically as the old truck's engine begins to sputter. "Errrnnnf, yeah, that sounds fun, might do that," Kup drawls out as he rolls slowly back towards Broadside. With great strain, he transforms back into robot mode, the axe now stick out of his chest. "H-here, you dropped this," Kup says, then, he grabs onto the handle of the axe, and rips it back out of his chest, hissing in pain all the while! Then, he raises this same axe over his head, ready to cleave the triple-changer in two--but instead it just sort of weakly falls towards Broadside. That might still do *something,* though. The old, futuristic-looking truck transforms into the grizzled veteran Kup! Combat: Kup sets his defense level to Fearless. Combat: Kup strikes Broadside with his Lost And Found (Punch) attack! Combat: You are running low on energon! Announcement: Announcer: Remember: Remember, pretendy fun-time internet games about being giant space robots are nothing to get upset over! *tink* The axe sort of falls against Broadside, producing no visible wound. "Uh, thanks," replies Broadside, picking it up and climbing back up to his feet. Combat: Broadside takes extra time to steady himself. Pass Kup blinks. That was supposed to hurt more, but then, he could barely swing the thing in his current condition. "Ehhh, no problem," he drawls out, throwing a punch-drunk swing at Broadside's knee. Surely the triple-changer is on the ropes just as much as he is? Combat: Kup sets his defense level to Aggressive. Combat: Kup strikes Broadside with his Running On Empty (Punch) attack! Combat: You are running low on energon! Broadside looks a bit unsteady on his feet, but he still seems to have some fight in him. His armor plating is so thick that it's a bit tough to see where he's injured, though... it looks like it's more just being jarred around, like a boxer. The fist clinks off of his leg and he answers it by cocking back his axe and swinging it underhand, blunt end first as if he was golfing. Combat: Broadside misses Kup with his Into the Water Hazard attack! Kup dodges the axe by cleverly collapsing onto his back before it connects! Of course, the only problem is he's having a little trouble getting back up. "Eh, figured one of us oughta be done by now," he says, and since he can't stand back up, he instead settles for kicking at Broadside's foot from right where he is. Combat: Kup misses Broadside with his Kick attack! Combat: You are running low on energon! Broadside pulls his foot back out of Kup's way and brings it down again, hard. Combat: Broadside strikes Kup with his Bigfoot (Kick) attack! Combat: You took 10 damage. Combat: You are very aware that your life is in danger! Combat: Broadside's attack has damaged your Agility! Combat: Kup falls to the ground, unconscious. Broadside lifts it up again. "D'you yield?" CRUNCH! Kup looks a tad squished, but he manages to mutter, "Eh, I don't wanna, but my limbs and back all just went on strike at the same time. So yeah, I guess so." Broadside helps up Kup but he doesn't seem to be very good at staying upright at the moment, so he just carries him off to Buccaneer Bob's Salty Machine Shop to get fixed up. "Well, I guess that settles that," says Broadside in his deep mellow voice. Kup is carted about like a rag doll, practically immobile in his condition. "Yep. Congratulations, Broadside. You kinda surprised me, but that's a good thing."